On Saturday Mark and I attended mass at Prince of Peace and in his sermon Father Tony told a story about Mother Teresa.

A priest visited Mother Teresa in Calcutta and she asked him, “What can I do for you?”

“Pray for me,” the priest said.

“What do you want me to pray for?” she asked.

“Pray that I have clarity.”

“No,” Mother Teresa said.

“Why?” the priest asked.

Mother Teresa told him that clarity was the last thing that he was clinging to and he had to let go of it.

“But you have the clarity that I long for,” he said.

Mother Teresa laughed. “I have never had clarity. What I’ve always had is trust. I will pray that you can trust.”

I’m a planner, so after my diagnosis I started planning for the end of my life right away because I thought it would help bring me clarity. I wanted to plan my funeral, finalize my will and figure out all of my medical decisions so they would be out of the way and I could concentrate on finding the meaning in what was happening to me. That’s when I started to share my life on this blog and thanks to Mark and my family it has helped me realize some amazing dreams, connect with family and friends and bring me some amount of clarity.

I love almost every aspect of my life, except for this one part. And I know I can’t change my diagnosis, but I wish I could take away the sadness. I wish part of my planning could include making sure my family and friends are going to be okay when I die. I guess that’s where the trust comes in. Maybe I don’t need clarity as to how it will happen, maybe I just need to trust that when I’m gone things will end up being okay for everyone I love.

16 thoughts on “Trust

  1. Dear Rosemary,
    After years of theology, philosophy, therapy and general rumination, that is one of the most insightful and comforting perspectives I’ve ever encountered. Seems what you’re describing is love, but an important way to understand it. Thank you for sharing this. I know I’ll remember it when needed. Big hug. -Mark Kelleher, SF

  2. Yesterday on facebook I shared a quote a friend had given me, “Life is all about how you handle Plan B”, we don’t often chose “plan B” it’s dealt to us when plans and dreams get turned upside down by loss, illness, divorce, finances, or a myriad of other things that just didn’t go as planned. What I have discovered seeing so many former classmates struggle with different issues over the years, is that if you make it past 50, we almost all have to face Plan B. Fortunately us “boomers” are a resilient group, or maybe there was extra iron in the RP water that gave us all strength! Whatever the cause, and in your case, I know it is faith and trust, I don’t think there has been a better example of how to handle plan B then you Rosemary. Continued prayers that you will continue to bless us with your inspiration on this blog and also for your comfort.

  3. Let’s all set our cell phone alarms! What a great idea. I’m in. 10:12 AM. If this is inconvenient, maybe choose another time? Rosemary and family, consider yourselves BATHED in prayer! What an incredible family and network you have. You are loved. Suzie Woodward

  4. I hate to ruin the surprise; but your friends, family- past, present and long into future you could never know- will be waiting on you as you enter your eternal surprise party in heaven! Couldn’t be your heaven without them!
    Budda believed: to be human is to suffer! We will always suffer while we are here- events, health, family issues, all the unknowns…
    But if you all truly believe in an all loving God and a promised heaven so great we could never imagine and know our suffering is building our grace; and like St Paul – embrace punishment, mockery, suffering and death , the bad times; then good is good and bad is good and you will find a glowing peace that will spread to all you come in contact with. Love, forgive, have mercy- simple commands from Jesus. Love you sister!- I feel all this from you already- alls good!!!

  5. Rossemary, TRUST me, all that know you and have come in contact with and have been lucky enough to be a part of your sharing are ALREADY better people. You make more of an impact that you will ever know in this life.
    God bless your kindness and ability to give.

    Love you, greg

  6. Rosemary, I have read your entire blog and want to thank you for sharing so much of your life with your FB friends. My cell phone alarm goes off everyday at 10:12 so that I will stop whatever I am doing and pray for you and your family. I will pray for clarity, trust and lifting of some of your sadness. Love, Marilyn Schramski

    1. Marilyn,
      You are just as sweet as ever!!! Thanks for being so thoughtful and for all your continued prayers! My Aunt Rosemary is such an amazing woman and we all are learning so much from her.
      Much love,
      Stephanie Dahlquist

      1. It makes me sad to have Rosemary struggle with all of this and the best thing I can do is pray. Your aunt is so lucky to have so much family in town and esp with Kelly here. Thanks Steph, hope all is well with you. Matt, Heth and Gabby are still in Troy and Julie Greg and Harrison moved to Houston in May. Busy with travels and my mom, who is now 92 and still in her own home.

  7. Your compassion and your insight amaze me, Rosemary…if your friends and family follow your example they will be alright!

  8. Rosemary, you have always been a mentor to me and your friendship means the world to me. Praying for trust for you now and always. Your strength and determination is amazing. I love you. :)

  9. Rosemary, I think this is a wish all of us have for our loved ones. I have had many of the same feelings and have tried to plan accordingly. Praying for trust!

    1. Rosemary I am so sorry you and your loved ones are going thru this. As always you will shine Gods love even through all of your trials. Know that I will think of you often in prayer. If you or your family need anything please let me know. Love and hugs. Gina Leary. 670-7926.

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