The Coin of Compromise


Our good friend Bruce Olsen visited from Ohio recently and halfway through our visit Bruce reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver dollar. He sensed from reading my blog posts that this coin may help Mark and I settle some of our differences. He proceeded to explain that if we have a difference of opinion we could toss the coin and if it lands with Lady Liberty up I could have my way but if it was the eagle up then Mark could decide. Bruce also suggested we wait until he leaves to toss the coin.

It just so happened that Mark and I were negotiating about whether to attend Matt and Liz Smallbone’s wedding in Chicago last weekend. Mark and I both love this couple and wanted to see them get married. Plus, Corey was flying in from San Francisco and we would get to see him a week early and also many of his friends that we haven’t seen in so long.

The reason Mark and I were in negotiations is because I can be unreasonable at times. This may shock some of you but I still have a strong will to make every moment count and Mark wants to honor all of my requests within reason but we never know what might trigger a bad coughing or choking episode. Choking can happen anytime without notice, even in the car. When I choke it’s not from food, it’s from saliva or phlegm in the back of my throat that I choke on. It’s really scary for me and the people around me. The last wedding reception we attended for Bridget and John Ehlich, I had a sudden choking spell just because I was talking with someone with my neck turned to the side. So with that said now you can see why Mark is reluctant to travel at times.

The night before the wedding Mark agreed to attend both the wedding and the reception even without tossing The Coin of  Compromise but that night I was struggling more than usual with phlegm. So the morning of the wedding I had second thoughts about staying overnight and decided it was best to come home right after the wedding.

Our ride to Chicago was quiet and Mark kept looking at me to make sure I was okay. We arrived at the church in time for Mark to feed me my formula through my feeding tube. I sorta felt like a drug addict secretly getting a fix in the car using a very large needle. Since we were early we had a chance to talk with Matt, his mom Cheryl and many other friends. After the wedding we had more time to visit and were so happy to hug Liz and meet her parents for the first time.

All of our kids have so many amazing friends and when we get an invitation to a wedding we consider it a gift and an honor to be invited. As we said good bye to Corey I felt bad that we weren’t going to attend the wedding reception but I was so happy that I was able to be at the wedding.

The next day Matt (the groom) wrote this beautiful message on my Facebook Wall and I knew we’d made the right choice:

As Liz and I reflect on our whirlwind of a wedding day we continue to come back to how special it was that you and Mark made the trip. I am extremely blessed to have my best friend’s parents be as wonderful as you both.

Congratulations Matt and Liz! We love you!


3 thoughts on “The Coin of Compromise

  1. I like the toss of the coin for decisions where the “right” decision may be hard to find. However, upon marriage I took the name Kluko, instead of keeping my maiden name, as I “lost” the toss of the coin on our way to obtain the marriage license.

  2. I find I have better luck at rock/paper/ scissors than the coin flip. I lost $50 during moped negotiations this week on a call of heads.

Comment on this post.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s